Shot of a young woman looking despondent after a fight with her boyfriend

How Do I Save My Marriage When My Husband Doesn’t Want To? Experts Guide

It can be an extremely hard time for you when you are fronting the reality of “my husband doesn’t want to be married anymore.”

You will undoubtedly feel very lost and uncertain of what you should do to save this marriage.

Of course, it is even more destructive if you are still in love with your spouse and pushing to find a way to save your marriage.

Oftentimes, at some point in the marriage, married females discover that they and their husbands are growing apart.

When you are not ready to face a divorce, and you are actively willing to save your marriage by doing the right things, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to.

What to do when your husband doesn't want to save the marriage?

Many wives believe that in order to save a marriage, you must immediately convince your husband to change his mindset and join you in the battle to mend the relationship.

Unfortunately, they focus too much on this goal and constantly think that he’s wrong and needs to be corrected, and eventually, this drives more toxic things than before, even if this was not their purpose.

If you push too hard, you will only make him more stubborn because of his beliefs about you, as a result, the process continues to fall.

Couple of man and woman having a question.

On the contrary, you must “chill” for a while and change this intent. Your first goal is to try to change the course a little bit.

As claimed by Peggy Hinders, www.mmhcounseling.com, my advice to the one who wants to save the troubled marriage is to work on self and get back to the essence of who they are with no expectations of their spouse.

By doing so, you will get at least some pause in his resistance, show your husband that you respect his position and perception and that commonly performs more useful!

When you split the process of saving your marriage into manageable objectives, you will achieve your goal in a short time.

Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Want You Anymore:
  • Your partner suddenly has gotten very busy far away from home.
  • Throwing justifications for why he can’t spend time with you.
  • Always, Avoids touching you.
  • He Avoids going to bed at the same time as you.
  • He never asks about your day or how you are doing.
  • He ignores your feelings and your life in general.
The following tips will clarify what you need to do step-by-step to get back on track...

1. Communicate Effectively

Communication plays a necessary part in saving a marriage. Women usually try hard to speak about the problems with their partners each time they have the opportunity, in the hope of finding solutions.

Now, You need to stop that. Instead, Think about the right way to approach your hubby in order to discuss your marriage problems.

Use these hacks:
Keep the Communication Channel Open

The secret to keeping the channel always open is to find the things that will function and remove all those things that are enlarging the gap between you two.

Appropriate words

Use the right words at the right time, talk to him calmly about things other than your relationship. Let him cool down and think about other things rather than the unhappy kinds of stuff.

When the level of tension goes low, he will start to open up again and begin listening to you.

Be patient

While saying your feelings in a relationship, it is also crucial to give a patient hearing.

The best way to understand your husband is by listening to what he says carefully before you reply. Also, try to be aware of how he reacts to your words.

Speak clearly

Be open with your partner, don’t be mysterious. But make sure that the conversation does not turn into an argument if you want to communicate effectively.

If you are in a position where your husband doesn’t want to repair the marriage, you should step back a bit.

He probably thinks that you will not leave him no matter what happens in the marriage.

When you step back and decide not to care about him so much, it will just make him wonder if you have quit loving him. He will likely start asking for your opinion to mend the marriage.

2. Change yourself and make him fall again!

The second point of preserving your marriage when you and your husband are swimming against the tide, is to change your image in your husband’s eyes.

If all your effort goes to the house, the family, and the marriage (this is something to be thankful for), it might transform you unwillingly into a more boring person than the woman your husband married.

Don’t be the “Casual Mom” who spends all day looking after everyone in the house. Men love strong, independent, and confident females who keep enjoying their life.

Kelly Montgomery

Oftentimes, couples will blame each other or sense a stalemate or block [with] no way to move forward. If each spouse takes the time to recognize, name and put action towards their part in the cycle, it can’t help but change the way things are unfolding.

Kelly Montgomery

Get a hobby! I’m not saying go to university or start a career! However, find your lost passion and pursue it. Also, it’s better to go out there and spend time with your friends.

These things will show your husband how confident and fun-loving you are, and all men like women like that.

That’s an essential step in making your husband fall in love with you a second time.

3. Evaluate your behaviors

Another point you should consider in your journey to save your marriage is to evaluate your behavior towards your husband.

As explained by Kelly Montgomery, If you’re looking for ways to save your marriage it would be to ask yourself: “How am I responsible?” It takes two for things to work, and for things to get stuck in repetitive unhealthy patterns.

When you realize that he doesn’t love you as much as before, the worst thing you can do is start blaming him. That’s not what you should do at ALL!

But, take a look at yourself and see how much you have changed.

  1. Are you taking him for granted? That can change his emotions for you drastically.
  2. As we spoke before, maybe you’re too busy to focus on him or things in his life that he wants to talk about it.

I recommend trying to give more support in his life. Don’t whine about things that need to be done in the house. Make your spouse feel special and compliment him from time to time.

4. Showing Him The Woman He needs

There’s something that you may not have considered. You already know the woman who turned your husband’s eyes and stole his heart.

That woman is YOU! You know what triggered him to fall in love with you back then, and you can definitely rehighlight them now.

As described in happily committed, if you stop being the person that your ex fell in love with in the first place, it can be hard for them to maintain the same attraction for you.

Many wives say things such as; “I’m not that beautiful young girl anymore. I have kids and responsibilities. We aren’t the same people.” Yes, that’s true! But, listen, you don’t need to be a goddess in this situation.

Your man used to feel close to you because of the qualities that you made him see in you back then. He thought you were fun, active, and easy to talk to and be around.

As mentioned by HackSpirit, Having fun together is part of the fabric of a relationship. It is a big part of what binds you together.

It’s normal to sacrifice the romance in the relationship in favor of the thousands of other responsibilities. But this doesn’t change the truth that intimacy is the foundation of all marriages.

You should keep in mind that “love, forever” doesn’t happen instinctively. You have to make efforts to show him that you are still attracted to him and want to spend some alone time with him.

5. The Message Your Husband Wants To Hear

Happy woman holding a big envelope with a red heart

To regain entry to your partner, you must win back his attention and trust, and most importantly, you have to wipe the image of seeing you as a threat.

So, when you are calm enough to deliver the message that you want to share, sit down and tell him that you’ve had a real change of heart.

The marriage has possibly cracked a long time before. Therefore, do not try to deny or change his mind about that. What’s done is done!

However, try to handle how you react to the trouble and the right way to make it better for both of you.

In addition, you cannot control the future, but you can control your behaviors. Stop being negative and act in a way that you are proud of.

As said by coach Natalie, You must prove your changes are consistent so that your partner will believe that they will be permanent.

Now, understand that your husband will be skeptical about both your sincerity and the truth of what you are saying.

In the beginning, he might want to believe what you’re saying, but over time, he doubts that you’ll start falling back into old patterns.

You must show him continuously that things are really going to be different and that you are very capable of doing what you said you would do exactly.

According to coach Natalie,  If you want to save your marriage, and even if your spouse is not trying, it’s important to know that every change you decide to implement for the sake of saving the relationship must stick around!

Can You save a marriage Single-Handedly?

Saving a marriage can be a solo mission. Only one person can do the job, and here’s why it works.

You can picture your relationship as an equation from one of our old high school algebra equations.

When one person makes the change, it automatically influences the change throughout the marriage.

As believed by Peggy Hinders, www.mmhcounseling.com, In fact, it’s changes made by just one of the spouses that brings about marital change. Of course, it depends on the issues, but even with infidelity couples, I’ve seen this work.

If the wife does something it automatically impacts the husband. Both partners are inseparably tied, and the proper action from one person can result in the proper reaction from the other.

So, if you try saving marriage alone, all it takes is a solid knowledge of what actions to take, and the results will work well.

A word from me

Hopefully, after your husband sees that you mean what you say, some of the stress will decrease.

When this happens, focus on bringing fun and laughter into the relationship.

  • Nothing heavy.
  • No deep conversations.
  • Don’t push him too hard.
  • Only share experiences that make things better.

The idea here is that he’ll start seeing little glimpses of the duo who were so deeply in love. And he will think: “Oh! I was wrong, That marriage can get better!”

And, he will want more of this because it’s what he has desired all along.

At that time, you’ll probably see that he is on board and wants to save the marriage as much as you do.

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