Deciding whether or not to stay in a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions anyone will ever have to make.
It’s so hard to know what the right thing is at the time, which can make it even harder to figure out how to move forward with your life.
Throughout the whole article, we’re going to show you the best reasons why you should save your marriage.
Also, we will show you the best reasons why you should let go of your marriage.
In the end, we will help you decide the right decision for you. So, Make sure you read the whole article!
Reasons for letting go of the marriage
1. Lack of Communication
Communication between two or more people who spend a lot of time together is very important. It’s even more important in a marriage.
If couples are unable to communicate clearly with each other, this distance can lead to marital problems which, in some cases, maybe irreversible. This can lead to divorce.
This can happen many times when couples start to resent each other for reasons and they keep it to themselves, avoid exchanges or they can’t talk to each other without conflict.
Not communicating complaints only cause more conflict, as the tension mounts. Communication is the lifeblood of any marriage and it needs to be there for the relationship to survive.
Learning to communicate better could theoretically change the whole marriage dynamic from unhappy to happy with a little work.
This is a very common cause of divorce and one of the most understandable. Cheating in general breaks up many relationships, let alone marriages.
In fact, infidelity is cited as a reason for more than a third of divorces in the United States. There are also various reasons for infidelity, including resentment or sexual boredom.
This reason needs no explanation. Infidelity situations are associated with enormous pain. But… Not all infidelities end in divorce!
When two spouses can overcome their differences and stay together even when one has been unfaithful, trust can sometimes be restored.
3. Physical/Emotional Abuse
This is the only reason many experts would agree that divorce is the better option than trying to resolve the issue at the risk of further abuse.
This abuse can manifest in many forms, including sexual, emotional, physical, or psychological. It can also mean preventing a person from doing what they want to do.
Whenever one spouse abuses the other or the children, the other spouse must immediately file for divorce.
- Physical abuse can include fighting and beatings.
- Emotional abuse can include things like verbal insults that lead to humiliation and intimidation.
Controlling and making the other believe that they cannot accomplish something is also emotional abuse. This type of abuse can have a lasting effect on the abused person.
It is much more common than most people realize, the cycle can be interrupted. It takes a long time to break this cycle, but once it’s done, the result usually ends up being positive.
The abusive person has issues that they must resolve themselves before they can manage a committed marriage.
4. Financial Issues
Money is another major cause of divorce. Although these reasons are not in any specific order, finances are actually the number one reason for divorce in the United States.
For many, it is a lack of money. For others, it’s just bad money management.
Often, one person in the relationship feels like they are carrying the entire burden of the couple’s finances. If one spouse wants to save money and the other wants to spend money, they constantly clash.
Almost every couple will face financial stress sooner or later, but that’s how that stress is handled whether the marriage ends or not.
Many times, financial stress is compounded because partners have a different way of dealing with that stress, through different temperaments and priorities.
This reason for divorce can easily be reversed with the right mindset between the two people.
These divorces are usually the least bitter of all because they don’t involve money or another person.
These divorces occur because the partners have simply separated over several years.
They can become disinterested and distant and not have as much in common as before.
Most couples start to get a seven-year itch, and while some relationships last much longer, that’s not always the case.
One way to keep boredom from creeping into your marriage is to make sure you’re a great couple and that you do things together and try new things together.
Too often, one spouse will spend more time away from the other. This is usually due to their career, friends, or even video games.
No matter what takes the most time, it makes the other person feel lonely.
They may not even see the effect they are having on their spouse until it is too late. Often this marriage will also end in divorce.
Reasons for saving the marriage
1. Easier to Fix a Broken Relationship
Do you know the old business adage that “it’s easier to retain an existing customer than to get a new one?” The same goes for a spouse.
I know it’s weird to compare a spouse to a client, but the thought is still true.
Just think for a minute what it would be like to have to know someone new enough to feel comfortable with them as your spouse.
Find someone with whom you are compatible, and start redoing the whole process of meeting their family, adjusting with them, dealing with someone else’s habits, replanning the future you had in mind, and you might even have to live with someone else’s children.
All of this takes a lot of work. If only half of that effort was spent fixing your current relationship, it would save you a lot of pain.
2. Happier, Less Complicated Future
Divorcing spouses are rarely closed to each other after the documents are signed.
If you have children, if the court has granted alimony, if pensions and retirement accounts need to be split along the way, you will have a lot of ongoing communication and contact with your ex.
Divorce can lead you to lawyers, court documents, and documents that must be filed every two years.
If you can persuade your spouse to slow down the divorce process and at least talk about the details, you may be able to convince him or her that putting a little work in advance to save your marriage could save you a lot of headaches along the way.
When you have children, this is a huge reason to start working on your marriage. Children are affected the most by divorce. but, guess what! they don’t deserve this negative impact.
They deserve to grow up knowing their parents would do everything just to keep their family united, not be selfish, and walk away.
I’m sure, you promised your children when they were born that you would do whatever it takes to keep them feel safe and emotionally warm. So, it’s time to take responsibility and keep that promise going.
Besides, be a good example for your children by showing them how to take responsibility, and stand for the bond of the family no matter what, rather than running away and taking the easy-quick solution.
4. Money Doesn't Go Far Enough in a Divorce
No matter what the court decides or even if you agree on how to split the money, there’s only one pot and now two families and that pot won’t cover the extra expenses as it used to do.
Most of the time, both parties have to live with less money than before. The divorce itself can consume tens of thousands of dollars that could go into a better future.
5. Divorce shortens lives
According to marriage researcher John Gottman, “people who end their marriages will die four years earlier than happily married people. The odds of having a happy marriage decrease with each subsequent marriage”
Another false assumption of those who live in less than perfect marriages is that a divorce will magically ease their pain or end their depression.
On the contrary, it could very well contribute to it. Think of all the extra stress that divorce alone will cause you.
What cure can you find for depression by constantly arguing with your husband or wife about which property goes with whom, not to mention paying attorney fees and so on?
Even after divorce and all the stress associated with it, you probably won’t be any happier than you were in marriage.
What if I told you that your depression is not directly the result of problems in your relationship.
Instead, your depression, or that of your partner, is more likely to have contributed to problems occurring in the marriage itself.
Again, if you’re not already happy with yourself, you can’t expect your spouse to make you happy.
6. Your Partner Is Not The Cause Of Your Marital Problems
The biggest mistake most people make in a failed marriage is to put all the blame on the husband or wife. “He never… when he says he will” or “she constantly torments me for…” Sound familiar?
When you find yourself blaming your spouse for the shortcomings of your marriage, you need to remember a very important concept. There is only one person responsible for making you happy, and that person is you.
If you can’t be happy with yourself or find it on your own, surely no one else can succeed where you failed.
Also, you must communicate properly with your partner about what is bothering you to seek any type of agreement for positive change.
the bottom line
How to make a decision!
Look, there are marriages that cannot be saved. One in three marriages ends in divorce. As sad as this statistic may be, hard evidence shows that this statistic is a fact.
There are times when a divorce may be the most reasonable course of action. Relationships marked by abuse and other “toxic” matings are a warning to the principle that marriages can and must be saved.
The vast majority of marriages, however, can be saved. If you’ve decided that saving your marriage is a priority, ask yourself these questions;
It can be difficult to maintain your marriage if the reasons for saving it were not good and solid enough. But like I always say… if you think it’s worth fighting to save him, you should.
Those who strive to preserve their vows can build stable, lasting, loving, and supportive marriages that meet their needs and exceed their dreams.
Saving your marriage can be a challenge, but it’s definitely worth it. Don’t give up and give up on the most important relationship of your life.