Quarreling couple people set,

What are the causes of problems in marriage? with solutions

Problems in marriage can appear even though most of us predict to live happily ever after the marriage.

Honestly, successful marital life is not for everyone. For some, troubles occur once or twice a year. But for many, issues are there every day.

Some problems get solved over time. However, These issues can reach the point of destroying the very foundation of the married life we had hoped for before.

While it is necessary to find a means of fixing those problems, I believe it is even more important to know the causes that led to them and create a way out of them.

This article aims to show you 12 common causes of problems in marriages.

The Top 12 Causes of Problems in Marriage

1. The environment around the marriage

Building a chaotic environment about your marriage is a stimulating factor to troubles in your marriage.

Occasionally, couples spread their problems with strangers, friends, relatives, etc. Not knowing that they are doing more damage than good to their marriage.

When everyone in your circle gets to know about the difficulties in your marital life, you may end up creating a damaging environment for your marriage.

Fact: Your spouse married you and not your family!

There are moments when you should put boundaries to family and friends for the sake of your marriage.

The most suitable way to make a friendly atmosphere is to maintain and resolve the troubles between you and your spouse. Tell your companions and acquaintances positive things about your spouse.

2. Being self-centered

Many marriages break up today because one spouse doesn’t care enough for the other.

As human beings, we feel content when our loved ones show us care, love, and gratitude.

That is what your partner expects from you at all times. No matter how little they have done, always show them how much you appreciate that.

Also, remember that your spouse is your soul mate, so you must accompany them in all your decision-making processes.

A man and a woman in a quarrel.

Whether it’s business, family, relationships, etc. They must be allowed to participate in the decision that affects their vital interests.

3. Lack of confidence

Not trusting your spouse has an 80% probability of generating severe problems in your marriage.

Let’s say that you don’t trust your partner’s ability to stay devoted to you, Or another possibility where you assume they lie to you all the time. Think about the consequences of that on your marriage?

The more trust you have with someone, the closer you will stand to them and the less space will be between you

David S. Walton

The best way to deal with this marital problem is to develop a very high level of trust in your spouse, which may take time but is very easy to do.

The basics of building trust include:

  • Always show carefulness for your spouse’s emotions.
  • Being honest and truthful.
  • Following through with promises big and small.
  • Being where you say you are (a man of his word).
  • Not hiding any secrets.

Trust is gained and not something that arrives automatically, especially if there are good reasons for your partner not to trust you.

Working to repair trust and other marital issues can be done, but don’t think it will happen overnight.

4. Lack of commitment

Marriage is a lifetime partnership and there are moments when love alone is not just enough. The level of dedication you give to your relationship defines how successful it will be.

Regardless of the negative feeling, you hold towards your spouse, your determination to achieve a happy marriage is everything you need to make things smooth.

exchange of wedding rings white

As stated by  unhappymarriage.info, In a study that consisted of 315 couples, 65% were mutually committed. Men were much more likely to be less committed to the relationship than women. 

5. Jealousy in Marriage

Jealousy is a human feeling that you can usually deal with beneath normal circumstances. It is an emotion of possibly losing somebody that your care about.

Familiar causes of jealousy in marriage include:

  • A partner who flirts with other women.
  • The feeling that a spouse may have when their partner is always busy.
  • Speaking with ex-partners.
  • Connecting with others in secret.
  • Having an affair.

There are many steps you can take to overcome jealousy in a marriage. Extreme and unreasonable jealousy can lead to a significant danger to marriages.

Trying to avoid or ignore extreme jealousy can result in severe marital conflict. In such circumstances, marriage counseling or other help programs are the right things to do.

6. Financial Problems

There are many times when couples face a money crisis. And this situation launches other problems as they are incapable of fulfilling the family needs.

Sadly, the pressure of this situation can drive couples to quit communicating with each other. Especially if one partner is the saver and the other partner overspends extremely.

young couple worried in need of money asking for help

As a result, arguments start taking a place, and finger-pointing becomes the flavor of the day. When couples stop speaking, things are likely to get more destructive.

Communicating openly will help spouses through the heaviest financial crisis.

  • Each partner must be involved in the finances of the marriage.
  • Sincerity is necessary for stressful situations.
  • Discuss all problems openly. No secrets!
  • If you both work, split bills, and who will pay it.
  • Avoid the blame game.
  • Create a written budget and stick to it.
  • Make a plan of action to get rid of debt.
According to kentuckycounselingcenter.com, To overcome money problems during the marriage, sit down with your spouse and make a financial plan. Some couples have ‘my money is yours, and yours is mine policy.’ While some couples set a monthly budget on how much they can contribute to the household.

Financial problems do not have to destroy marriages. Having proper planning will help lower the stress level and reduce fights.

7. Emotional Neglect

In this era, it is common for marriages to suffer from emotional neglect. Long working hours, chasing dollars, and other activities can take their toll on the marriage.

These previous glowing expectations were replaced by discouragement, misfortune, and frustration that marriage had become secondary.

Common Signs of Emotional Neglect:

  • Forget special birthdays and anniversaries.
  • Thinking that your spouse will comprehend your lack of involvement.
  • Revealing little attention in your spouse and their feelings.
  • Being constantly preoccupied and emotionally absent.

Sometimes spouses are surprised when they discover their partners are tired of being marginalized and pushed to suppose that they are not meaningful.

Referring to brides.com, Emotional neglect in a marriage is an issue that can be incredibly difficult to fix on your own, but a good therapist can be infinitely helpful.

8. Infidelity

As reported by kentuckycounselingcenter.com, In the United States, 20-40% of divorce is caused by infidelity

There are rare things more destructive than knowing that your spouse cheated on you. However, nothing threatens the survival of a marriage more than infidelity.

For some people, it’s like having their life pulled away or like having a family member die.

Yet, if both partners are ready and willing to sacrifice especially the offender, it is possible to save a marriage after infidelity.

Trust has broken, and it will take incredible effort, patience, and hard work to rebuild that trust.

9. Household responsibilities

That is an important detail that contributes to problems in marriages. Household duties like cleaning, cooking, laundry, and childcare are time-consuming and should not be left to just one partner.

When only one spouse takes on all the responsibility, over time they feel overburdened and stressed about these tasks. This often leads to arguments and fights.

However, for a marriage to function properly, both spouses must share responsibility.

Businessman in chains of troubles with financial debts.

It is smart to sit together and talk quietly and let the other partner know what is wrong and what should be done to overcome this issue.

10. Sex Problem

Work pressure, lack of time, and less communication can cause to loss of interest in having sexual connections together. Incapability to find a perfect time is also a factor.

Meaning, when the spouse has the energy and is eager to have sex, the other partner is exhausted from work and chooses to sleep instead.

This will reduce the attraction of the partner which, in turn, will cause a problem in the marriage.

Sherrie Campbell

A marriage without sex is a roommate situation

Sherrie Campbell

Ph.D.

  • Sexless marriages reasons can include:
  • Depression over household responsibilities, arguments, and past actions.
  • Accumulated Unresolved problems.
  • Body image problems with their partner.
  • Feeling exhausted mentally and physically.
  • Sexual abuse.
  • Displeasure with sex.

Most sex problems are caused by poor communication. If you can crush your obstacles of embarrassment, and be open and honest with your partner, you will end up with a healthier sex life than most people in the world.

11. Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Many marriages today have fallen because of alcohol and drug abuse. Most females enter into marriages without knowing that their future husband is an addict until they are in the marriage.

Addiction is known as a routine of doing something consistently. Though, continuously in the sense that such individuals can’t go without this habit.

Many of these habits harm the life existence of the individual. For example, those who are addicted to Cocaine, heroin, Liquor, and others.

No doubt, a spouse’s craving for any of these drugs can hurt your romantic relationship.

12. Media and Relationships

Social media has influenced our society in many positive ways. Our lives have been simplified. Everything you want to know is quick with one click.

We save time and effort by shopping online and booking online. We easily stay in touch with friends on these sites. But there is also a downside

mckinleyirvin.com states, Growing research has shown that increased usage of social media has had a negative effect on marriages and relationships. Higher levels of social media usage have led to more marital problems, infidelity, conflicts, jealousy, and eventually divorce.
Man and woman holding smart phones on pink background. Sending heart shape.

Research has shown that these apps can damage relationships and even lead to divorce.

One partner might consume so much time that they ignore family time and harm the marriage.

There is a seduction to admire ex-partners, and one message could trigger past feelings or start an affair.

While you’re married, even if divorce appears potential, avoid criticizing your partner on social media or using your Facebook/IG to talk about your relationship.

If you need to vent, chat with a reliable personal friend in private, or talk to a counselor or therapist.

To wrap things up

To avoid relationship problems, it is necessary to communicate with your partner and to listen sincerely and nonjudgmentally to everything they have to tell you.

If you have a problem with the information your spouse has shown you, try to discuss your matters diplomatically, and in a calm tone.

Remember why you are married, and take action to work toward happiness for both of you.

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