Sad couple standing back to back

What do you do when you feel disconnected from your husband? 3 Proven Solutions

Commonly, I see people who say that they feel “disconnected” or “far away” from their spouse. Many will go even further and think that this is the first step to “falling out of love.”

Moreover, Some even go further than this and begin considering that they may want a divorce.

It’s totally understandable that it can be really frustrating to feel lonely or isolated in your own marriage or that you just don’t have a connection with your husband anymore.

Yet, I also believe that if you were completely at peace with your decision or the way that process is going, you wouldn’t have found this article.
I actually believe that it’s at least worth a shot to make an attempt to reconnect.

Because oftentimes, numerous elements that are happening in our life impact our emotional connection – and not just with our spouse – with everyone.

If you can control these elements, you can also control your feelings. And, I am going to show you the right steps to make things work for you.

What does it mean to be disconnected from your husband?

According to Kendra Cherry from

“Emotional detachment refers to being disconnected or disengaged from the feelings of other people. This can involve an inability or an unwillingness to get involved in the emotional lives of other people.”

When emotional detachment in marriage appears, divorce seems almost inevitable.

A couple that was once deeply and fully in love may find that they hardly know each other anymore.

They won’t talk about anything of value, they go through the motions and they end up living like roommates.

Realizing that you and your husband aren’t connected emotionally anymore does not mean the end of your relationship.

It can actually be the push you need to get the marriage back on track.

relationship crisis

Why do I feel this way?

There are various reasons for emotional disconnection in marriage, and once you’ve placed what the issue in your relationship is, you can start on your way to repairing it.

problem-1: lack of intimacy

One typical reason why couples drift apart. The frequency of intimacy is bound to change over time. This can be caused by several things including:

A. Complacency

Being TOO comfortable in a relationship to the point you become so used to your husband that instead of seeing him as a sexual partner, he feels more like a housemate.

B. Body Image Issues

Many women have serious body image issues and feel that if they are not as fit as they used to be when you first got together they are now old and unattractive.

Additional causes:
  • Work takes up more time or emotional energy.
  • Children entering the relationship.
  • The ongoing conflict pulls the couple apart.

problem 2: Resentment

Another common cause of emotional strife in a marriage. When you avoid solving small troubles but let them grow this can lead to many cold days in your marital bed.

This is a very difficult emotion to handle and it’s even more challenging when you resent your husband.

If there’s a reason why one or both of you is feeling a powerful sense of resentment, you simply must address that.

Couple quarrel flat

Not only is it driving you to feel disconnected, but that feeling grows until it damages the foundation of your marriage. Unresolved resentment can direct to eventual divorce.

Problem 3: communication

Just not putting in the time necessary to talk to one another is one of the top reasons why couples hover apart.

There is so much to deal with and discuss when you’re raising children, pursuing careers, and trying to balance the funding.

If you are not able to navigate some time to talk about “the relationship needs“, the marriage won’t stand a chance of surviving.


Problem 4: cheating

Sadly, affairs are considered as one of the TOP TOP causes for emotional distance in your relationship. If one of you has strayed, that will affect the relationship permanently.

It’s worthy when a couple decides to stick together after infidelity, but they do need to address the affair and why it happened if they hope to rebuild the marriage.

Betrayal is challenging to get over and if you haven’t dealt with it correctly, you and your spouse may end up as foreigners living under the same roof.

How to tell your partner you feel disconnected?

Here are two crucial guidelines to consider when thinking about letting your partner know that you feel disconnected from him:

1. Don't keep your partner blinded

Your partner has the right to know the facts. If you’re really serious about reconnecting with him later on. You need to speak to your partner calmly and straightforwardly.

Be clear about your situation and give time for your partner to understand. Let him think about how much the marriage means to him, and whether he can commit to the changes you need.

2. Find the right conversation time

Finding a time to talk openly about your feelings will give you tremendous transparency over your thoughts.

When you are in the middle of a fight, and you’re both exhausted, or when the kids are around. That’s probably the worst time to talk.

On the contrary, when you both are in a good mood, and a peaceful place, that would be the best time to talk because it will allow you to express your needs perfectly.

How can I reconnect with my husband?

Truth is, there are a lot of times when a wife may feel disengaged or totally disconnected from the husband. This may simply be due to the different reasons listed above.

However, Below are the steps you want to take to help you reconnect with your husband once and for all:

Step 1. Your husband Needs You

One of the first steps to take if you want to reconnect with your husband is to Rediscover him again.

This may sound ridiculous since the two of you live in the same home and see each other every day.

However, Ask your husband why he appears so separated and disconnected. From there, you will more or less have an idea why he is behaving that way.

You may not be able to help with whatever it is that may be annoying him but the best thing you can do is to listen and attend to his needs silently.

A lot of divorce cases are caused by a simple reason, represented when the spouses don’t give enough effort to stay connected.

You will never know how much he will value that after all the storms have finished.

Step 2. Communicate, that's the key!

What do you do when you feel disconnected from your husband? Simple, communicate.

To emotionally reconnect productively with your husband, you must open the tubes of communication between the two of you.

As soon as you notice some disconnection with your husband, make sure to dig into the possible reasons for this instantly.

Plan some time each day when you can just speak to him. It may be over coffee in the morning before the two of you leave for work, or during an evening walk together around the neighborhood. That way, the situation will have no chance of getting big.

Your priority with this is to schedule some one-on-one time for just the two of you so you can talk about everyday, ordinary things.


Dr. Gottman says that The key to understanding each other is to:

  • Ask questions
  • Remember the answers
  • Keep asking questions

Step 3. Give Him The Extra Attention

You may be used to the idea of a man romancing a woman, but you can surely take the reins and sweep your husband off his feet.

You need to keep the romance growing within your marriage if you want to stay connected to your spouse.

Focus all your affection, time, and attention on him so that he may not feel alone and therefore will not detach himself from you.

Make sure you do something really special that you have not done for him in the past. Leave a suggestive note in his briefcase so he’ll find it after he gets to the office. Be more passionate. Be extra sweet.

In other words, treat him like there will be no other man for you other than him.

With these, you can be sure that your actions to reconnect with your husband will undoubtedly not go dusty.

Give your marriage a boost!

Learning how to Give your marriage a boost begins with identifying how much the dynamic of your relationship has transformed since you two married.

There are several main aspects that contribute to a couple floating apart.

The biggest change for you and your partner is that you no longer have the time or the freedom to focus on your relationship. Now, you two must deal with work and financial pressures.

Obviously chasing down a dollar is important to maintain all the necessities in life.

However, if you put all your time and energy into your work, the relationship is bound to suffer.

Dr. Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPCC

Relationships go through stages where you feel really connected for a period and then not as connected for another period; it’s during the disconnect when it takes extra effort to reconnect. It’s important to remember that if your relationship is in a disconnect stage it does not necessarily mean that your relationship is over, it may just mean that the relationship is in need of a tune-up. Take time to listen to the needs of your partner and be prepared to put in the effort

Dr. Wendy Boring-Bray

Doctor of Behavioral Health

In the event that work is consuming one or both of you, it’s important to take time for your relationship.

If your husband tends to stay late at the office, bring him dinner. Prepare a special trip just for the two of you on a Sunday and ask him to take the day off.

Another great tip to keep your husband close and feel loved is to call him unexpectedly during the day just to tell him how much you love him and are grateful for his support.

You need to find small windows of time for the two of you to spend together, away from the pressures of life.

This will impact him just as much as it would you if the roles were reversed.

Bonus Content

Building a stronger marriage!

There are so many ways to improve your marriage and make it stronger. Start today by using these 4 useful tips below:

1. Build a solid Trust:

Trust is the base of marriages, and many of those marriages fail down because of the lack of trust.

So to improve your marriage, there’s no damage in setting extra effort to enhance the level of trust between the two of you.

  • Stop taking each other for granted.
  • Stop fighting over non-important things.
  • Commit to consulting with your partner when making valuable purchases.
  • Practice being kind to each other.

2. Share Financial Planning:

This is an important piece of love relationship advice because it can get your marriage into deep trouble if you prefer not to work on it.

Even if there’s only one breadwinner in the family, both you and your spouse should get involved in financial planning.

It gets easier and a lot less stressful the more you two get involved.

3. Handle Your Arguments:

No one is perfect, and your partner will continue to do things that annoy you. And the two of you might get into arguments and start shouting at one another.

The truth is, you can break the relationship if you do not diffuse post-argument tension. As relationship advice, this tip is one you cannot ignore.

  • Think before you speak.
  • Criticize only when extremely necessary.
  • Treat your spouse as an equal and not a child.
  • Never embarrass your spouse in public.
  • Be willing to say “I’m sorry” when you screw up.

4. Learn to Communicate Effectively:

The best for the last, with the most vital relationship advice.

  • Support the goals and dreams of your spouse.
  • Don’t guess your spouse knows what you want or need. If it’s necessary, allow your spouse to know about it.
  • Don’t put family or friends ahead of your spouse.
  • Get some marriage counseling if your problems are overcoming you and holding you from having the best marriage ever.
  • Find other resources and ways to boost your marriage and relationship.

To wrap things up...

Many couples face emotional problems in their relationships. The emotional disconnect is an alert of trouble ahead and needs to be fixed.

Discussing the problem is crucial for the health of the relationship. When this goes unaddressed, your relationship becomes doubtful.

You deserve a devoted relationship that is emotionally fulfilling with the closeness and intimacy that you desire. You want to live true love.

When you feel emotionally detached from your husband, talk to your doctor or therapist.

Treatments are available that can help reconnect you with your emotions and get you more engaged in your love life.

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