Many wives wonder why do men have affairs? The reasons for a man cheating are as varied as the men themselves.
Husband infidelity is one of the ultimate causes of divorces, and with one in two marriages ending in divorce, it is no wonder why many wives have faced this question.
Men appear to be pre-programmed to cheat, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it, nor does it mean there is any justification for their behavior.
The saying, “boys will be boys” does not involve married men!
While a man’s decision to be unfaithful is on his shoulders, there are things that the wife can do to keep him from wanting to stray.
The following reasons are commonly good indicators that your husband will cheat.
so, What drives a man to infidelity?
- The neurotransmitter dopamine floods into our system after we do pleasurable activities such as eating food or having sex.
- Scientists have found that people with the long version cheat on their partners at a much higher rate – 50% vs 22% – than those with the short version.
- People with the long version are also more likely to take risks and face problems with addiction.
Some think that there is a scientific basis that it’s just in a male’s DNA.
“Men are born cheaters,” they say. If that were the case then every husband has or will cheat.
It harkens back to the earliest times when men were supposed to save their gender by copulating with as many females as possible to produce the maximum amount of children as possible.
Well excuse me, we live in a different period now! There are more than enough females for everyone.
Besides, I think that’s just a lame excuse to justify cheating husbands. It’s poor logic and helps to encourage cheating husbands.
Scientists also assume there is a genetic link to alcoholism. However, alcoholics are still responsible for their behavior.
2. The Challenge
The second reason is that the husbands are risk-takers. They calculate the chances of getting caught and assume they are too smart to get busted.
Men who cheat claim that they like the challenge of finding new domination and of keeping it secret from their wives.
However, many wise men have been caught red-handed and ended up humiliated and exiled from their families.
Yes, they enjoy sex, but it’s not what pushes men to cheat on their missis. It is the pursuit and the plotting that they desire. Many men see this as a huge victory.
They also get a buzz from going up against the competition and winning the woman’s love. It’s like winning the prize or the trophy.
Often, men fall for younger females while going through their midlife crisis. They might feel like it makes them feel young again.
According to huffpost.com, The Normal Bar shows that 61% of women and 90% of men fantasize sexually about people they meet.
3. social media
Studies have shown that these sites can damage relationships and also may lead to divorce. A spouse may spend too much time on these sites, ignoring family time which will hurt the marriage.
One recent study from the journal, Computers in Human Behavior, used information gathered from U.S. Facebook accounts showed:
- Using social media is negatively correlated with marriage quality and happiness, and positively correlated with experiencing a troubled relationship and thinking about divorce.
- The rise of social media has paralleled a rise in infidelity. Why? With sites like Facebook and Instagram, people can re-connect with old lovers, increasing the number of affairs and breakups.
- A twenty percent annual increase in Facebook enrollment was associated with a 2.18% to 4.32 % increase in divorce rates.
The attraction is there to look up to former girlfriends or boyfriends and connecting could activate past emotions and trigger an affair.
Reasons mentioned for these effects refer to “virtual cheating” and “internet infidelity” as being one of the culprits.
Social media can make users sense additional freedom in their communication with others. It can be done anonymously and is easy to use to conduct an affair.
The 4th reason why a man might cheat includes the ego problem. This one is closely related to self-esteem, as men often get a huge adrenaline rush out of being in pursuit.
Even if he doesn’t suspect that his wife loves him and finds him attractive, a man may always feel the necessity to prove that other women see him sexy and charming, even it means he destroys his marriage in the process.
Many men see it as pride builder having a lot of women in their life. Many of these men have low self-esteem and want to follow these conquests because it reassures their self-worth.
Men enjoy knowing that many women desire them. In other words, he wants to prove he “still has it” and is “hot.”
list25.com states; Both men and women who fake orgasms are more likely to cheat on their partners. As for the numbers, women fake orgasm 20% of the time while men fake it only 5% of the time.
5. Bad Marriage
Another undercover reason men cheat is that they were “driven” to do so by a bad relationship. Men get bored and don’t have the same attraction they had at first.
Some men play the husband and father role nicely. But, their intention from day one was to live the “Get married dream” but maintain the bachelor life close by. They never wanted to be faithful.
It also involves that men crave the thrill of the chase. So, an affair is definitely a way for a man to get some excitement in his life.
Instead of ending their marriage, they hang on to the relationship and decide to have an affair, looking for something more exciting. This way they have something to fall back on.
Men generally have difficulty talking about their problems, so peeking into something new and better may seem like an easy EXIT.
According to list25; Most married couples break off the relationship after an affair; only 35% of couples work through the issues and remain married.
6. They want sexual variety
Desiring sexual variety could be linked to boredom, but not every time. Your husband may not be exhausted in other areas of life. But, he wants to experience something different sexually.
Sexual frustration is a heavy reason that especially happens in relationships that have stayed for some time.
When your man desires sex, do not always give him excuses to avoid it. This kind of frustration can make your partner cheat on you.
It is usually difficult for a man to hide his sexual desires once he has started thinking about them.
Sexual satisfaction does not depend on how many times you do it. To satisfy your spouse sexually, you should know what actually pleases him. That will assist in controlling him from cheating on you.
Immaturity is a very common reason why men cheat. Cheating is a result of a lack of self-control.
As we mentioned before, An immature man tends to feel that having many women at the same time shows that he is a conqueror.
Being immature also means not caring or understanding the effects of your reckless behavior.
I recommend you shouldn’t waste your time with such a man because it is too hard to change his manners. This man will always cheat, and he’ll be a threat to your well-being and your emotions.
8. Escape from Reality
Passion, desire, and excitement explode in new relationships. Unfortunately, a lot of this fades after getting married, having kids, or staying in a long-term relationship.
One of the reasons men cheat is that those magical sparks stop flying, especially when couples begin to have kids.
Instead of vacations, late-night parties, and continuous sex, life becomes all about dirty diapers, temper tantrums, and additional pressure.
It is a bad time to add more conflicts of infidelity to the relationship problems, but some men do! They aim to escape the truth of their changing lives.
According to bonobology; 20% of the men having an affair said that it was to fulfill their emotional needs and not physical. 14% did it to get their partner’s attention.
There’s a preference for infidelity when there’s emotional stress like facing a pregnancy issue or losing your job.
Men see the rich and famous people with beauty queens every time so they want to save themselves by following in their footsteps.
Sometimes they feel insecure with their spouses, and extramarital sex is cheaper and easier to get these days.
Studies suggest that only 20% of the men who cheat do so because of a sexually dissatisfied marriage. The remaining 80% have a variety of reasons which range from emotional vacancy, insecurities, revenge, etc.
10. Lack of communication
The most red-flag for infidelity, not only communication is vital in any relationship, but a lack of it is a big reason to end up in a situation where they are tempted to cheat.
For example, most men cheat because they feel underappreciated by their wives.
In many marriages, rather than this being a reality, it can usually be attributed to a simple lack of communication between the couple.
What do scientists suggest to overcome these problems?
To keep a man faithful in the face of life changes. Communication is the key, be open with him. Discuss any changes that are happening and how you’re preparing to deal with them.
Furthermore, don’t let life become totally about work, children, and home duties. Your marriage or relationship should also be the highest priority, and you must make it so.
Plan date nights, speak openly, and continuously light the flame between you two. No matter how you decide to do it, remember to show the man you love that your life with him is an equally important part of your reality.
If you want more detailed answers, make sure to check out this article.